Tired of pretending

So...

Here's blog attempt #4908769867.

One day, I'll probably get better at this.

Writing used to be one of my passions. One of my outlets in life. Now, it's as if all the creativity has been sucked out of me. Sometimes, I can even fashion myself as a painter, but after the work is done, I look back at it and want to chuck it. Maybe I'm just my own worst enemy.

I'm starting this blog for a few reasons:
1. I'm trying to lose weight. And I need to keep myself accountable. I'll be journaling my (hopeful) successes on here.
2. I need to get myself back into writing. Even if I don't feel creative, I so miss it.
3. I need a venting place. Maybe that will help me be a happier person.

I don't know how many people I'm going to tell this blog about at first. Probably Wayne. Mostly because he's the only one online enough who'll actually read it. And I need at least one reader... because then other people won't hold me accountable to hold myself accountable to actually keep this up.

You know, every year, secretly my new year's resolution is to keep a journal. I've had one journal since 2003. And about 15 empty journals.

Sometimes I feel like if I get a new journal that's "pretty" it'll entice me to write -- really, in the end, I'm afraid I'll mess it up with all my words.

I can't really "mess up" a blog, right?

Anyway... I don't really know what to write about tonight (and thus the blockage begins).

I promise -- I'll get better at this.
One day.